Last night I was cleaning out old emails and found so many between my sister Jilly and I. It’s hard to believe she’s now been gone 2 years. When I think of things we did or talked about, it seems like it was just last week. I ran across an email after our road trip to Mississippi to meet a fellow quilter, Judi.
On the drive there I was reading us weird internet stuff and stumbled across an article on how college girls are soaking their tampons in vodka then putting them in their wooha so they get the alcohol absorbed but don’t smell like they had been drinking. As we pondered this we kept laughing at how stupid this was, did it really work? You know because minds like mine and Jilly always want to know.
After reading the whole article I said well next thing you know men will be putting Jack Daniels up their butt to get drunk and not smell like they’ve been drinking. You know like a coffee colonic. After laughing terribly we started to wonder if that would actually get you drunk and well, you know I had to google it. I am not kidding when I say I was laughing so hard I couldn’t even tell her what I found. Imagine my surprise when I found it’s not just a thing but they actually have a name for it. Butt chugging. Yes you read that right.
Ok at this point I thought her husband was going to have to pull off the road on some lonely back road in Alabama. We literally, I kid you not, had tears running down our faces from laughing so hard. We got to discussing it was one thing to actually put Jack Daniels up your butt but you have to ask, who’s the first idiot that thought of this? I said to Jilly, this means someone was standing around, whiskey bottle in hand and said hmmm wonder if I can put this up my butt and get drunk. I admitted, ok I have been drunk beyond remembering the night, but I don’t think I’ve ever been that drunk. This resulted in again laughing so hard we couldn’t talk but I will say I thought she’d laugh herself sick when I said here’s the big question.
Do you put it up your own butt or ask a friend hey can you squirt this bourbon up my butt hole. And did he say yes? I have never laughed so hard in my entire life and I am not sure I ever will again. Lord I miss that woman. I think she was the only person I ever felt I could be 100% me and she still loved me and never thought about judging me.
I wish she could be here now when I think of the follow up questions on that like – If you’re one of those people that walk around with your head up your butt, will your breath still smell like alcohol? Will police every think to smell your butt for alcohol? Oh Jilly I miss you.
PS – maybe later today I’ll tell you about how she used to tuck me in bed.