Last night I was reading on article on public shaming and how it’s become a cyber thing and mostly abused in our society but not sure I agree. If we knew the way we acted, treated other people and so forth would be seen or talked about in public would we behave the way we do? The article talked about reporters making racial comments, dentist killing lions (we’ve all heard that one) and even people that posted on facebook about something a friend did, cheated on a spouse, stole something, etc. and wondered if public shaming was too harsh especially in the social media.
Define too harsh. Isn’t your social media your page to add or not add what you like? Regardless of that, stop and ask yourself of things you’ve done lately. Would you have said that, acted that way or done that if you knew people would hear about it? Do you act one way in front of people then get nasty if your real behavior becomes public knowledge. Do you lie about situations so the other guy looks like the bad guy and hope the truth isn’t posted somewhere public? Do you pray over every meal yet forget to pray over the way you treat people.?
If you look back at the original idea of public shaming I think it served a purpose. There was no small claims court and such where you took people that cheated you, lied about you, etc. When those people got caught their behavior was public and I’m just guessing, but I think they learned a valuable lesson in life. I know I have done things in the past had I known I’d be shamed in public I would have seriously rethought the idea.
I look at a current situation I’m dealing with and think public shaming would be a fair result as I don’t believe in suing people. I’ve helped two people I thought were friends financially for thousands of dollars over the past year and half, paying lawyers, child support, taxes, car repairs, credit cards, etc. I put a roof over their heads and food in their mouths for months because they didn’t keep their end of the agreement to pay their share. Once I said paying their share left me in a financial bind and we had to look at other living options those same people said they needed to distance themselves from me, I made them uncomfortable and had ripped apart the friendship (because I have no more money?). They have remained in my home for the last 20+ days with me still paying all the bills and one walks past me without speaking and won’t so much as take out a trash bag. The other won’t sit in the same room as I am, has returned Christmas gifts by laying them on a table and both suddenly they have money to eat out most nights, rent a new house and spend weeks redoing it, etc. I ask myself what lies they told the next person that stepped out and helped them and how long before they ruin that relationship by abusing their kindness. I can’t stop the behavior because watching the change in their actions and attitudes the past 3 weeks and looking back at comments and behavior, I realize this is a lifestyle for them. I am sure I am not the first to be taken advantage of and dumped when the money ran out but I wonder . . . . if they knew what they did, how they acted or treated people would be posted for the public on facebook, twitter, friends pages, etc. would it make them think before they did it again? So maybe public shaming should be brought back. Just my humble opinion but this is my blog and that’s what I add here, my opinion.
One thought on “PUBLIC SHAMING”
it seems like everyone can be divided into givers and takers. I think a good relationship has a back and forth of both. But that said, I think the back and forth should boil down to a majority of the things being like items. Like you can’t be the one always giving the money, paying for things and the other person take but never reciprocate with any monetary giving. Just like if you do work for your friend because you do that for a profession, as a favor because u r their friend, I dont think if u needed or asked for help for something that they did for a profession, u should be expected to pay for it. I’ll give you an example: I’ve been a nurse for 10 years now and of course I’m the one who gets calls about tons of things. Sometimes a lot, by many of the same people. Do I, or should I charge them for all the time I gave them dispensing advice. I mean if I do that at work, it comes with a price tag. I have a college degree that costs money, that medical advice didn’t come free. I have a previous acquaintance who called a lot and for very long periods of time about medical stuff, even very late, and of course I helped. But then when I had already been off work on disability (thru work) , I just felt so bad, I wasn’t going out very often, and wasn’t keeping up with my appearance and needed a hair cut. Well this previous acquaintance used to be a hair dresser. She found a way to tell me that she still charges friends for hair cuts because she’s paying to keep up her license and paying for upkeep on her instruments. So, I paid her $30 to cut my hair, but all the HOURS of medical advice you wanted from me, was free to her?!!!? I felt like I needed to send her a bill for several hundred dollars.
I just think it should be a balance. Clearly in your situation, very little was given. Had u paid someone for every tiny little itsy bitsy thing, they ever did, it Couldn’t have amounted to even a couple hundred dollars, max! Hardly compared to THOUSANDS of $$$$$$$$$$ they took. All I can say is, I’ve tried to reduce stress in my life and if that is how a friend is going to show their appreciation ( used loosely) that us obe stress I’d remove. In my case I tried to explain several things, and how it was all about them. That’s the thing about selfish people, it’s all about them. I don’t think they gave the ability to hear or even comprehend any other view. It’s a fruitless endeavor. I hope that your home us a home again and u r able to get back on focusing on everything else minus the drama.